Bad Apple – Bad, Bad Apple!

For many of us – nay, for most of us – the computer has long ceased to be a fascinating luxury or an interesting toy.   Its spidery tentacles now reach into every facet of our lives, and as we have learned its many programs, inventing and re-inventing many to suit our own needs, we have unwittingly allowed the computer to become a vital part of our very identity.  Everything about us is unloaded into the computer.  It is the storehouse of our lives.  It is a physical extension of ourselves, an alter ego.   We cannot leave home without our computers.  Something necessary is missing, for everything that is anything to us is in our computers.  It is our “go to” for whatever we need.  For The First Mate, this is most definitely true.  To be more succinct, let it be here noted that she cannot live, function, breathe without her computer.  Is that clear enough?

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She was told that all her Microsoft Word documents and Excel spreadsheets would transfer easily to her Apple.  After several trips to the Apple Genius Bar, they eventually did, though to Apple’s disgrace, she was forced into buying an application that would allow her to run Microsoft’s Excel Program on her Apple, for after much scratching of heads, it was finally admitted that Apple’s substitute Numbers Program was not capable of doing all that she had incorporated into her Excel spreadsheets.  Not one to be dismayed, The First Mate remained a happy camper.  She had not bought her Apple for its writing or numbers programs.  She had bought it for its pixels!  What a thing of beauty its many pixelated screen is!  Apple’s iPhoto is a wonder.  To her delight, her Apple computer came with an amazing program called iWeb.  It would allow her to work on her blog without being connected to the internet.  What a time saver!  How wonderfully fantastic!  Across the oceans she could sail and wherever and whenever the creative urge struck her, internet or no internet, she could type away inserting photos as she went.  Then, when she finally did reach land and an internet connection, all she had to do was connect and upload her finished blog.  How ingenious!  How exciting!

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November 2010, we arrive on the shores of New Zealand.  Not only are we, after many months, back in a first-world country, we are in a country that ranks sailboats right up there with breathing.  We enthusiastically augment the New Zealand boating economy as we get much needed work done on Avante.  (2011 Blog:  Fueling the New Zealand Economy)  Not only did we replace our run-down batteries, we added to the battery bank giving us 50% more electrical capacity.  Desiring to access the 220 volt current on the New Zealand docks, we put in a battery charger that plugs into the 220 volts on land and then feeds into our 12 volt batteries.  From the batteries, an inverter converts the 12 volt DC power to 110 volts of AC power for the electrical outlets on our US boat.  We use a lot of electricity onboard Avante, and now we should have adequate power both at the dock and at sea.

For the South Pacific sailing season of 2011, we headed north to Tonga and Fiji.  The passage to Tonga was demanding on boat and body.  (2011 Blog:  At Anchor in the Middle of the Ocean)  The Apple did not seem to like it either.  To The First Mate’s dismay, it started acting persnickety and would only charge intermittently.  It would go for days without accepting a charge, and then suddenly start charging as if nothing had happened.  We tried to trouble-shoot the cause.  Would it charge off the batteries and inverter?  No.  How about the Westerbeke Generator which generates 110 volts of AC current and does not need the inverter?  No.  It would charge only when it wanted to charge, and that was it!

When we returned to the States and plugged into land power, the computer charged every time.  How does she now get a technician at the Apple Genius Bar to understand the problem?  The computer is working perfectly when she brings it in with her complaint.  Irritated because she feels like a role model for a dumb blond joke about trying to explain the funny noise the car makes only when she’s driving, The First Mate plunges on.  “It is only on the boat that this charging selectivity is occurring,”  she explains.  How do you explain this to someone who has never been on a boat?  “But it is charging now,” she is told.  “Yes, it is.  Land:  Yes.  Boat:  No,” she reiterates.   Somehow she does not feel that she is either believed or bing taken seriously, but diagnostics are duly run.   A faulty charging cord is named the culprit.  A new one is issued her.  Free of charge!  She has their service contract.   

Not totally convinced of the efficacy of this fix, there is no way to test it until we return to the boat.  Back onboard in Fiji, her Apple works happily for 48 hours, and then quits charging, new charging plug and all.  She is apoplectic, and The Captain is none too happy either.  The First Mate is willing to bet that loss of personal computer now ranks right up there with other causes of marital stress like colicky baby, building a house and loss of job.

Carted off to the marina office and plugged in to land power, the Apple springs to life and charges.  On Avante — nothing.  The First Mate is positive it is something to do with Avante’s wiring.  The Captain is not.  Every other electrical device works just fine on Avante.  There is no logical pattern to when the Apple charges and when it does not.  NOTE:  The Captain’s PC works just fine.  So what’s wrong with the la-de-da Apple?

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The First Mate now spends several months sailing around Fiji and living with a reluctant computer that does not want to charge on Avante.  Every time we go ashore, the Apple is dragged along.  We had to find a working land socket and wait for it to re-charge.  Back on the boat, the Apple is used only when necessary in order to conserve power.  No work can be done on the blog.  (The blog about Fiji is still not completed!)  The First Mate is constantly frustrated, and though she denies this vehemently, The Captain insists that she made sure that he was well aware of her frustration.  Marital bliss is in short order aboard the good ship, Avante.  The Captain now hates the Apple and dubs it the “Bad Apple”.  He is ready to throw it overboard.  Is she looking?

In December, we return to the States for several months, and The First Mate’s first stop is at the Apple Store.  She returns to the Genius Bar because she does have a niggling of a doubt that Avante is the one to be blamed here.  She is told, somewhat reluctantly, that Apples can be selective in the type of current they receive and will even refuse to recognize even slightly different currents.  This all is news to The Electronically-Challenged First Mate.  To her, current is either 220 or 110, Big Zap or Little Zap, but she learns that there is so much more to electricity than just 220 or 110.  Her eyes glaze over.  Retreating from the technical, her genius says that he can play a little trick on her Apple which will erase all previous memory of current favorites and open it up to recognizing whatever it is fed.  It’s called resetting PRAM.  Does she have his permission to do it?  Uh, oh, permission?  Why permission?  Well, not having understood a word he had previously said and realizing further explanation would get neither of them anywhere, she agrees.  Go ahead and PRAM.  Done.  Her Apple is supposedly now magically primed to accept all and sundry current, but again, there is no way to test it until we return to the boat.   Does that sound like a bunch of hog-wash?  It did to her, too

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The Captain is busy installing the electronics that he brought back with us. He does not need an intense and demanding wife, but such he gets when 5 days after arrival, her Apple stops charging.  Need her reaction be described?  The Captain is unable, unwilling and without time or energy to help, so The First Mate seeks help elsewhere.  Before long, The Captain finds that as he goes around the marina, he is no longer referred to as the owner of Avante.  To his chagrin, he is the husband of that woman with the crazy Apple.  She enlists the ear of any who will listen.  Three area electricians are found.  Being good, conscientious electricians, they try to puzzle it out, but they can see no reason why the Apple would fail to charge when all the other boat systems do charge.  And why does it charge always on land?  Never has it failed to charge on land, but it will not charge on the boat, even from the land-to-boat 220 volt line that we plug our battery charger into.  That should be exactly like plugging into an electrical outlet ashore.  None of this makes sense.  Everyone is shaking their head.  If anyone can figure it out it is a Dutch electrician.  The First Mate gets the Dutch electrician to come on Avante and check out all the sources of power that we have.  Current, voltage, frequency etc.  The AC power out of the inverter is 114.8 volts at 60.4 cycles.  This is perfect, just like in the States.  He is able to check out every circuit right up to the Apple charger, which he cannot diagnose because he does not know what its output is supposed to be.  He can only shake his head in wonderment.   Go buy a PC, she is told.

There is a sister ship to Avante in the marina.  Salacia hails out of Brisbane, Australia, but we first met Cyndy and Stephen Everett shortly after they purchased their boat in San Diego purchase.  We had dinner with them in Telluride, for not knowing of us or Avante, they had scheduled a family vacation there in January of 2010.  They crossed the Pacific with us that same year, but we were on different schedules.  After a brief time together in Puerto Vallarta, we did not see them again until now, here in Opua.  We have Stephen over for dinner while Cyndy is back in Australia.  Of course, like everyone else around here, he is informed about the Apple, and like everyone else, he is puzzled.  Siding silently with The First Mate, he suspects that something is amiss on Avante and insists that we bring the Apple over to his Salacia the next day.  We do.  We plug the Apple into the 110 outlet on his boat.  It works.  We plug it into the 220 outlets that he has installed on his boat to run his Australian appliances.  It works.  We plug it into the 220 direct line from the dock.  It works.  Stephen smiles, trying hard not to appear too smug.  The First Mate feels vindicated.  It is Avante! The Captain calmly says, “Just wait.  This Apple is like an unfaithful spouse that likes anything new until the newness wears off.”  We talk about boat systems comparing things on his boat with things on our boat — the usual boat talk.  After 30 or so minutes, Stephen decides to switch power sources which is something that happens frequently on a boat.  Immediately, the Apple stops charging.  The First Mate unplugs the computer while Stephen switches to another source.  She reconnects the power cord.  The Apple still will not charge.  All 3 sources of power are tried with the same negative result.  What worked just moments before now doesn’t work at all!  Stephen is totally amazed.  The First Mate is totally dismayed, while The Captain tries unsuccessfully to hide his smug smile.  It is not his Avante.  It is her Apple.

“Go buy an Apple 12volt charger,” says The Captain!  Apple must have some type of charger that allows people to charge up their computer in their car.  The First mate quickly gets on the internet and learns that the only charger that Apple makes for the Macbook Pro must be plugged into either 110 or 220 AC current.  In desperation, The First Mate decides to join an Apple discussion group where she poses an uncomplicated question to the Apple world-at-large:  I live on a US sailboat right now off the coast of New Zealand. My Mac will only recognize power input from a land-based source. It will not charge from either a 110 or 220 outlet on the boat. Any suggestions?

To her surprise, 22 well-intentioned replies are received.  They ran the gamut from a flippant “use what works” to “insufficient amperage to the power brick”, “jury-rig an airplane adapter to use with your 12VDC”, “have the local electricians create a converter box based on your VAC/HZ ratings”, “make sure you have a full 85W”, “must use a pure sine wave inverter that puts out ‘clean’ 120V AC power”, “put in a line conditioner” and “buy another power adapter (already have done so) or a new MacBook Pro (is he kidding?)”.  If the reader understands any of what my well-meaning responders were saying, maybe you have a response for her, too!  She did receive one response from a cruiser in Mexico who said his 2 MBPs work fine on his boat with his “pure sine wave inverter” and another response from a sailor in San Francisco who said he has the same problem with his MBP on his boat but since he is only a day sailor, it was not that big a deal.   Nobody had an answer for why the computer was behaving as it is or a guaranty that any further time or money invested would work.  Without a definitive answer to the problem, there is no way she is going to invest a $100 or more in new converters, inverters, diverters, whatever!

We head out for a shake down cruise to test everything on the boat before our 1,100nm passage to Vanuatu.  The Apple continues with its appalling behavior.  It will not charge.  The First Mate uses it as little as possible to conserve its battery life  On our last afternoon out in the islands, The Captain suggests that she go ahead and run down the battery on the computer.  Starve it to death.  See what happens.  She does just that.  It is at 19% battery in red letters when she puts it into sleep mode, closes the lid and heads off to start dinner.  She leaves it sitting quietly and plugged in even though it is not charging.  About a half hour later, The Captain walks by the computer and is thunderstruck to see an orange charging light.  The thing is charging!  Why?  How?  What had changed?  Nothing, absolutely nothing, but suddenly, on its own, it kicked into life.  “Maybe this is what the stubborn mule needs,” thinks The First Mate.  “A threat to its existence.”  As The First Mate has stated over and over again in the pages of this blog, “all inanimate objects are demonically opposed to the living beings who mistakenly think they have all the control.”  The will to live is strong, and maybe as its battery neared its death throes, the Apple responded.  Who knows, but if this is how the thing wants to act, so be it.  Next time it refuses to charge, she’ll let the battery run down and see what happens.

We return to the marina.  The Apple keeps charging, even when the boat is transitioned to shore power.  She unplugs it to haul it with her to the laundry.  Returning to the boat with the battery at 46%, it commences to suck up power recharging itself as it should and always should.  She figures that the real test will come when we put to sea in a week.  Will it continue to charge out there for the 6 or 7 days of passage?  She is hopeful, but not optimistic.  The thing has done this before.  It springs to life with a new twist just in time to keep her from using it as fish bait.

Is the problem some circuitry gone askew in her Apple that only needs to be found and fixed?  She hopes so.  Or is the problem a finicky, temperamental system built into Apple by its creator to protect it from unhealthy power supplies.  She hopes not.  The one thing she does know is that a sailboat is no place for a prima donna.  Shape up or ship out, my fine pixilated Apple.  A PC is looking better and better.

Post Script:  The Apple hummed away for 4 days on the boat, and then quit charging.  She ran the battery down to 9% hoping that it would kick into life.  No way.  It was determined to self-destruct.  Took it up to the Yacht Club this morning.  Plugged it in, and it IMMEDIATELY began charging!  Does anyone out there have any idea what is going on with this Apple MBP?  The First Mate’s tears of frustration are filling the ocean itself out here!